10 Attractive Qualities in a Guy

I never got around to finish listing 10 things about 10 things so here is another list, a Valentine’s Day edition…

1. Humility
There’s no greater turn off than someone who is arrogant and prideful. For me, humility is being able to take criticism even when it’s not delivered constructively; seeking advice from others when you have no idea; not trying to make yourself out to be more important over someone else; and conversely, a humble attitude doesn’t deny or refuse compliments but rather accepts them with gratitude to the one who paid the compliment but also The One who gave you something to be praised on.

2. Confidence
Perhaps this sounds like I’m contradicting myself but being humble doesn’t mean being self deprecating. Sure, everyone has days when they feel they don’t have anything going for them and would rather spend the day being non-existent. But if a guy were to be constantly putting himself down or criticising himself without making plans on actually improving, or just to get attention – that would be downright annoying and not very fun to be around. I like that a confident guy will happily make conversation with new people, or my friends and family, without the ulterior motive of boasting to hide his insecurities.

3. Good, clean sense of humour
If a guy can have a laugh without it being at someone else’s expense then the less likely they are to bully and belittle others to gain amusement. A clean sense of humour also shows maturity I think…

4. Maturity
Everyone has their moments when they act their shoe size rather than their age, or they laugh at something that a 10 year old would find hilarious – and that’s ok – but in the grand scheme of things, if you’re quickly approaching your 30s, still living at home with your parents, mooching off of them with no plans of setting yourself up for your own future or no real career prospects, then no thanks.

5. Ambition
A dream as simple as starting a family or as big as climbing the Himalayas – as long as there is a dream and a hope for adventures to be had in the future. I’d like a guy who takes the risk to dream and make plans – whatever they may be – for the future. He should be settled and content with life but not settle for a life lived unfulfilled.

6. Fashion Sense
I don’t mean in a chase-the-latest-trend kind of way but rather knowing when to dress up and when to dress down. I like to dress up from time to time and I wouldn’t want my other half at an event to look like a bogan because he can’t bear to put on some pants!

7. Chivalry
Opening/holding the door for me, pulling the chair out for me as I sit at the table or walking me to my door/car may seem old-fashioned but never goes astray. Not that these acts are practical 100% of the time in this day and age but done here and there as a gentlemanly gesture is most appreciated.

8. Honesty
Pretty self explanatory.

9. Sense of Adventure
The willingness to try new things and experience the unknown to an extent. Not getting too stuck in the same habits and becoming too comfortable that you would never give something a go just once!

10. Godliness
It’d be great to find a guy who fulfils ALL 10 criteria but this is probably the most important criterion to meet. Since I am a follower of Jesus, it’s important to me that the man I marry follows Him too. It would be unfair to the both of us if our core beliefs and faith were not the same as we’d have very different expectations of each other and of marriage. I I think Ephesians 5:25-29 describes the ideal husband and touches on many of the qualities that I’ve already listed previously:

For husbands… love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot of wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of His body.